Lessons from a teacher: (Sijo) James DeMile

(Sijo) James DeMile is often known as "an original Bruce Lee student", a martial artist, founder of Wing Chun Do Gung-Fu & DeMile Defensive Tactics. He is known for his fighting ability and his insight on technique with saying things like: 

• "The best way to win a fight is to walk away and avoid it, or END IT before it begins!"
• "The fight should not last no more than 2 seconds on the high side!"
• "Doomatize the opponent!"
• "Fighting is not a social event! You do not bring a sack lunch to a fight."

But I have come to know Jim DeMile for someone more than just "Sijo". Though Sijo might mean Founder, I call him "Sijo" as an affectionate way to call him my mentor, a father figure, and most importantly My FRIEND. What you're about to read are a few of his "sayings", or better yet...words of wisdom - as he said or wrote them, but sayings that have little to do with him as a Martial Artist. Instead they have to do with him as a Friend helping a less experienced friend get a better grasp of how to deal with life. Here is insight into not "Sijo" DeMile the martial artist, but rather Jim DeMile, a regular human being...a GREAT friend!

"Most people's problems that deal with interaction have to do with their own level of confidence."

"There are many different aspects to a person, Michael. There is, and will be, You the Individual, You as the Son, as the Brother, as the Cousin, as the Student, as the Martial Artists, as a Husband, a Father, a Grandfather, and so on. What will help you, and anyone in life, is to cater to ALL aspects of your life. If you focus too much on ONE thing, say just the Martial Artist, you will be neglecting the other aspects of your life, and ruin the relationships in those other aspects. This will lead to unhappiness, leads to 'Mid-life Crisis', divorce, and lost friendships. Spend time developing each aspect that makes up your life". 

"It is fair to say that 90% of those around you are just trying to unload their garbage into your life. There is not much you can do about it, but shut the gate and make them go somewhere else to dump their crap. Confidence means you believe in yourself and do not need people to tell you how great you are, you know it already. Keep a garbage can handy and when you meet negative people, throw them in it and close the lid.

...Be good to everyone, yet keep the garbage can close by. It is not that you are better than anyone, it is just that you can do a better job, and be a happier person by keeping other peoples insecurities and fears out of your daily life. At the end of each day, you should reflect on events of that day and see where you need to improve. What can you do about yourself to feel good about yourself? What can you do tomorrow so you do not repeat the mistakes of today? Keep in touch and make each day another step towards becoming, Michael Banaag, grandmaster of life."

"Your attitudes and daily perceptions can make life beautiful, or the pits. You know yourself that often something that bothers other people does not bother you. Why??? It is how you look at it. You can look at something as a failure or as a challenge. You can let other people tell you who you are, or you can tell yourself. Confidence means you accept the responsibility for your attitudes and perceptions and that you are choosing to think positive about your life and everything that happens in it. No one knows who you really are, or why you think like you do, or why you do what you do. Only you really know, therefore only you can make valid judgements about yourself.

...To often we let other peoples negative attitudes and narrow perceptions to influence our thinking, yet it is a simple matter of deciding to no longer let them interfere in your life's journey."